Escape from Wonder Island/Transcript
This is the transcript for Escape from Wonder Island. Transcript (Dib is racing through Wonder Island with a Spelldrive in hand) (Dib heads to his shelter) Dib: This has to be perfect. I have over 1000 power points left on this one! But what to use them for? (Daniel comes in Dib's shelter) Dib: What are you doing here? Daniel: We've been stuck at Wonder Island for six straight weeks, and now we're planning our escape! Dib: Umm... thousands of humans crash-landed on Wonder Island in one day, so there's tons of civilization! Daniel: Not just humans. Aliens that look like humans, too. And other animals... (Gene Simmons comes in Dib's shelter) Dib: KISS member Gene Simmons, everybody! Gene Simmons: I have a bad feeling about this... my bass can't even let me escape from Wonder Island! Dib: Have you tried using it as a paddle? Gene Simmons: Water is a conductor of electricity. Dib: Oops. Should've seen it coming. Gene Simmons: We've already contacted home base and they told us that we need to get off this island. (Harry Potter comes in Dib's shelter) Harry: A Spelldrive? What happened to manual wizardry? Dib: It gets pretty boring sometimes. Daniel: We contacted Chrome so he could approve this escape plan. Dib: And is it approved yet? Daniel: According to him, yes. Dib: Call Judy Hopps; we're gonna get outta Wonder Island! Daniel: You do realize Judy is on the island too, right? Dib: I don't care! We have a plan to break outta here! (everyone heads out of Dib's shelter) Dib: I'll show this plan to Chrome! (meanwhile, at Chrome's shelter) Chrome: Gorge, how's everything going at HQ? Gorge: It's fine. I'm working on a plan to escape from the island along with everybody else! Chrome: Gorge, you're the ruler of Wonder Island! Shouldn't you be more restrictive? Gorge: I would, but I don't want to live on this island any longer! Have you called Judy yet? Chrome: No. Gorge: OK, then. (Gorge hangs up) (meanwhile, Dib is running toward Link's shelter) (Dib knocks on Link's door) Dib: Link, open up! (Link comes out of his shelter) Link: Yes, what is it? Dib: I have an escape plan, and now even the ruler of this place is getting sick of the island! Link: I can kill monsters we encounter along the way. Dib: Good thing! We need all the support we can get! (Sonic the Hedgehog arrives) Dib: The seven Chaos Emeralds? Thanks, Sonic. You gave me more support. (Dib takes out his binoculars) Dib: What the- uhh, guys? Link: Yes? Dib: I don't think we saw any whales in those colors. Sonic: We really need those Chaos Emeralds! Dib: Relax! As long as I have my Spelldrive... Link: Have you called Judy? Dib: No one's called her yet! She wondered off with a Spelldrive the last time I saw her! (Zim arrives) Zim: Tell me more about this Judy Hopps. Dib: Well... she's a rabbit... Zim: By the time I'm done taking over, I'll wipe Wonder Island off the face of the earth! Dib: Alien vs. interdimensional space demon? Nova's on this island, too. Zim: But unlike the rest of us, he can go back. (Nova appears) Nova: Hey, Dib! How's finding the supernatural going for you? Dib: You fiend! I can't believe you're all-powerful! (Nova disappears) Dib: Well... my theory has been proven correct. (Dipper Pines arrives) Dipper: We are trying to build a massive houseboat so we can get everyone on board. Dib: Who, exactly? Dipper: Everyone on the island. (Manny Rivera arrives) Manny: It's a long story. (Freddy Fazbear also arrives) Freddy: A long, long story, kids! Dib: Hey, I still have a plan! Freddy: What is it? Dib: I have a Spelldrive. Freddy: What does it do? Dib: I'll cast a spell similar to an Animorph Ray on... PB&J! Freddy: Really? Dib: They're otters! They can help us! Zim: Who else can help us? Dib: I've called Prankster, Preston Evergreen, and Chris McLean! (Sans and Papyrus arrives) Sans: Seems like a lot of phone calls. (rimshot) Dib: No time for jokes, Sans! We're breaking out of this place! Sans: I thought you liked Jonas the Clerk! (rimshot) Dib: Again, no time for jokes, Sans! Sans: They are not even jokes! They are PUNS! (rimshot) Dib: Don't want to hear that rimshot again! (Mark Turner arrives) Mark Turner: Sorry I'm late. Dib: We need a plan to keep them busy. Fortunately, I've contacted Ross and Sherry, and- Mark Turner: Who else? Dib: I've also contacted Patty, Butterbear, and Bawkaroo. Don't ask how non-human animals can use cellphones. Mark Turner: Oh, like that cat playing the keyboard? Dib: That's just a video! (Superman arrives) Dib: I didn't call for Superman! (Batman arrives) Dib: Nor did I call for Batman! Batman: I think you added that one fox to your contacts. Dib: Curse the animated children's video entitled "The Little Fox"! Batman: I also took the advantage of calling Roobear Koala. Dib: Curse The Koala Brothers! Oh, wait, he was from The Adventures of the Little Koala. I take that back, then. (Dib checks his contacts) Dib: Curse Wicket the Ewok, Madame Courgette, and- you might think I'm crazy on this one- The Cramp Twins! Dipper: We're almost finished with the houseboat! Dib: I'll give it time to dry off. Dipper: But we didn't use any paint! Dib: I'll be there in a minute, then. (Mario arrives) Mario: What is that? Dib: You must be the plumber! (Luigi arrives) Dib: You must be the Mario Brothers! Uhh... check that tunnel for escape routes! (Mario and Luigi do so, but get beat up) Mario: It's a bad exit. You might get beat up by a bunch of Koopas. Dib: So tunnels are out. (Daniel arrives) Daniel: What other escape routes do we have? Dib: Well, there's the houseboat. It's right over- (Chloe arrives) Chloe: I built an even bigger version using parts of a Big-O-Matic 3000! Dib: Curse you, Wubbzy, for using that invention! Chloe: How do you know about that show? Dib: I keep up with the latest television shows. That's why I know about PB&J. (a plane arrives) Dib: Well... dreams do come true, huh? (Judy Hopps steps out of the plane) Dib: Hey! You're the girl that's the talk of the island! Judy: I wouldn't say that! I heard you needed an escape route. Dib: What are the other passengers doing in there? (Dib checks the inside of the plane) Dib: Is that Bawkaroo? Judy: Afraid so. Had to get every last one of them. Dib: Also, how'd you- Judy: Don't ask. Dipper: Ms. Hopps, I've been building a houseboat- Judy: I thought only PB&J could have one. Dipper: -to bring everyone back where they belong. Judy: OK, if we crash-land on a desert, I'm blaming you. Dipper: I know how to get around these things. (Rudy Tabootie arrives) Rudy: I need a camera to take all this evidence that we discovered the island! (Gorge, Chrome and Bagel arrives) Chrome: We didn't really discover it. Gorge: We crash-landed here. Bagel: Without a ruler. That's why Gorge offered to be the ruler of the island for as long as we're here. Gorge: At least I allowed everyone to continue about their daily lives, right? Bagel: I guess. Gorge: And now we need to get off this island! (The Doctor arrives) The Doctor: The TARDIS had to recharge for six weeks! (The Doctor goes into the TARDIS and takes off) Gorge: Any suggestions on how to get off this island? Dipper: We use the boat I made! Dib: I get rid of these awful contacts! Gorge: Excellent suggestions, let's go with them! (Dib clears his contacts) (cut to the boat sinking) Gorge: Well... it couldn't be worse. (the other boat sinks) Dipper: You've been proven wrong. Dib: I still have that Spelldrive! Maybe it can help us! I just need to turn PB&J Otter into species way bigger than their current sizes! (Dib goes to get his Spelldrive, then returns) Dib: And look! It still has 1000 power points left! (Dib cycles through a list of spells for 3 hours) Dib: A-HA! Critter Madness! Uses 3 power points and turns the target into whatever the caster says! Gorge: Who are you gonna cast it on? Dib: It says three targets maximum, so I'll cast it on PB&J! Dipper: Who are you gonna turn them into? Dib: I dunno... what's the largest land animal in the world? Dipper: Dinosaurs. Dib: What's the largest currently? Dipper: The 60-foot Gobblewonker. Dib: Largest that isn't exclusive to Gravity Falls? Dipper: Oh. Lions? Dib: I wouldn't wanna go with that. Largest that doesn't eat meat? Dipper: Giraffe? Dib: Largest that doesn't live in the wild? Dipper: Dogs? Dib: Largest that doesn't have a V-shaped mouth? Dipper: You got me there. Dib: Whatever. Activating Spelldrive. (Dib pushes the "Cast Spell" button) Dib: Well, it's not working. Oh, there it is. (the Animorph Ghost arrives) Animorph Ghost: Who do you want as the targets? Dib: I have just three simple requests: Peanut, Butter, and Jelly Otter. Animorph Ghost: And what species? Dib: Humans. Animorph Ghost: I'll see what I can do. (the Animorph Ghost leaves to see PB&J) Dib: Well, three more human inhabitants here, right? Sonic: About that... Dipper: The spell you casted... doesn't mention humans anywhere in the spell description. Dib: Well, then. What a twisted mind and a sense of irony! (the Animorph Ghost returns) Animorph Ghost: I couldn't turn them into humans. Instead, they are now a rabbit, mouse and squirrel, respectively. Dib: Lemme guess... you've never been asked to turn any animal into a human? Animorph Ghost: Nope. (the Animorph Ghost is sucked back into the Spelldrive) Dipper: Do you have another spell that allows them to be turned into humans? Dib: That was our only hope! Dipper: What are you talking about? Dib: I have no spell that allows them to be turned into humans. And I can't download new spells because of the lousy internet connection! (cut to repairmen fixing the internet servers) (cut back to Dib) Dib: No, wait! I'm getting a strong internet connection! That probably means the internet is fixed! Dipper: OK, then... (Dib looks online for a spell that allows PB&J to be turned into humans) Dib: Here's one! Allows the target to be turned into humans. Three targets maximum. Uses 3 power points. I have 997 left! (Dib downloads the spell) Dib: Let's see what this baby can do- (PB&J arrive) Dipper: Guess who's here? Dib: No, stay away! I don't wanna be destroyed! Peanut: Destroy you? Nonsense! We love our new looks! Dib: Oh, you do? Peanut: Is this a Spelldrive? Could this make us the world's largest forest critters? Dib: I don't see why not, but I don't recommend it. Dipper: He really doesn't recommend using the enlarging spell he cast on Waddles last year! Dib: Thanks, Dipper. (Patty Rabbit arrives) Patty: I recently saw you used some kind of Animorph spell. If he's a rabbit, then what do I want to be? Dib: Wait, I don't recommend self-usage of the spell! (Patty gets out a Spelldrive) Patty: Activating Spelldrive. (Patty pushes the "Cast Spell" button) (the Animorph Ghost arrives) Animorph Ghost: What targets do you choose? Dib: Do you use variations of that question? Animorph Ghost: There is a different ghost for each one, but I was talking to the caster of the spell. Patty: Let's see... Bawkaroo, Madame Courgette, and myself. Animorph Ghost: What species? Patty: Otters. Animorph Ghost: Let's go somewhere alone. (Patty and the Animorph Ghost leaves) Dib: Who set up Maple Town over there? (cut to a replica of Maple Town made with Dib's shelter while a guitar arrangement of dramatic music plays) (cut back to Dib) Dib: Am I crazy, or- Dipper: Seeing how there's a replica of Maple Town over there, and not the real thing, there's no need for just one style of music in Wonder Island! Dib: Are you breaking the fourth wall? That replica was made out of someone's shelter! Dipper: It was your shelter. Dib: I could always build another one. Dipper: Besides, Gene Simmons brought his bass guitar or otherwise we'd be hearing fanciful music all day! Dib: Are you offending other genres of music besides rock? Dipper: No, I was explaining a fact. Dib: OK, then. Dipper: I never mean to offend every genre of music! (Dipper gets out his MP3 player, which is playing the 1812 Overture) Dipper: Cool, huh? Dib: This chat aside, I feel like we need to save the island! Dipper: We're trying to get off the island! Dib: And now we're gonna save it in the process! Dipper: Here we go... Dib: I need 23 packs of gum! Gorge: But there's no money here! Or gum! Dib: No gum? Are you saying this island offers very little? Chrome: It's never been discovered, so yes. Dib: Well... anyone got some soda? Chrome: We had a shatter-proof 15 liter of Coke on the day of the crash-landing. It's still good. It doesn't expire until... (cut to the expiration date) (cut back to Chrome) Chrome: 6 months from now since we pasteurized it prior to carbonating it. Dib: You used Coke-flavored flavoring, huh? Chrome: Yep. (Chloe returns with new shoes) Chloe: Patty just started her own store! Dib: Makes as much sense as anything. (cut to Dib at Patty Rabbit's store) Dib: You don't look any different... were your power points refunded? Patty: Well, yes... Dib: I see you started your own store. Patty: Do you like it? Dib: Lemme guess... Family Guy DVDs? Patty: Yes. Dib: Besides that, nice store. Patty: Thanks. Cast it using 100 power points. Dib: What? Now we've got only 897 power points left! I gotta spend them wisely! (Judy Hopps arrives) Judy: Speaking of that, I used 200 power points on an entire collection of detective and cop equipment! Dib: ...697... Dipper: I used 100 power points to make Gravity Falls nice again! Dib: ...597... Gorge: I didn't use any power points. I just found a spell that uses no power points. Dib: ...still 597... Chrome: But I used 200 power points to build CreationLand! Dib: ...397... Bagel: I used 200 power points to make a wish! Dib: ...197... Daniel: We used 25 power points each to make suits! Dib: OK, listen up! This Spelldrive only has 97 power points left! No casting spells unless it has to do with the plan to escape this wretched island! Daniel: I've had enough with the damn island anyway. Dib: Good to hear your opinions! We should use all the remaining power points to build the world's largest boat, which we will then push to the other side, effectively returning us to my father's lab where we set out on that fateful cruise... Daniel: No, really. I'm sick of the damn island. Six months of being here- Dib: We've only been here for six weeks! Daniel: No, it's all coming back to me! I've been stuck here six months! You guys were the ones that were stuck here for only six weeks! Dib: Didn't see that coming. Daniel: The point remains clear that we must escape this island! Dib: Correct! All we need is Maple Town '16-esque music... (Dib's mp3 player starts playing the 1812 Overture) Dib: Too light for this situation. (Dib changes the song and "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake plays) Dib: Too dark for this situation. (Dib changes the song to an instrumental version of "Maggie May" by Rod Stewart) Dib: Close enough. (Dib starts searching his Spelldrive and casting spells that give him the materials necessary to leave the island) (the other island inhabitants build the boat) Dib: Well, it's done, but we're still missing something... Gorge: What is it? Dib: We're still missing a piece! Legend has it that no Spelldrive can conjure one up! Dipper: What is it? Dib: The engine. Dipper: We just used the one from our old boat; I mean, it wasn't busted. Dib: OK... (cut to a finished boat) Dib: Well, we should get off the island now... Dipper: It runs on Juicy Juice and Coca-Cola. Dib: Juicy Juice and Coke, huh? You can't mix those together... unless you're making punch, which is unlikely. Dipper: Oh, yeah. Here's the bill. Dib: Uhh... you didn't disclose the cost. Dipper: Yeah, it costs mountains upon mountains of money. (TBA)